#Perpetual Journey
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The Unending Ascent
Embracing Continuous Learning and Growth Amidst Peaks of Consciousness In the intricate tapestry of spiritual exploration, there exists a profound truth that often goes unspoken: the journey does not culminate at the peaks of consciousness but continues to weave through the valleys of continuous learning and growth. During my dialogue with Steve James on Guru Viking, I delved into this aspect,…
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#Boundless Ocean of Consciousness#Continuous Exploration#Continuous Learning#Deeper Understanding#Elevated Consciousness#Enriched Understanding#High States of Consciousness#Infinite Learning#Infinite Possibilities#Integrated Self#Interconnectedness#Inward Exploration#Non-Duality#Perpetual Journey#Psychological Development#Psychological Evolution#Spiritual Exploration#Spiritual Growth#Uncharted Territories#Unending Ascent
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I’ve made this post before but I can’t be bothered to find it. In what we commonly consider a ‘traditional’/patriarchal European society, the paths in life are: marriage with children (acceptable), bachelorhood (frowned upon, locked out of certain professions/roles), spinsterhood in servitude to parents (probably suffering), religious servitude. An unmarried person is a servant either of the local lord, the Lord, or the parents. The parental relationship has a built-in hierarchy of the senior parents and the underling child. All pressures push down and toward marriage as a form of (highly limited for women) freedom.
One of the few ways around this system is the sibling relationship. Sticking with a sibling can provide an avenue to independence from hierarchy via a peer relationship, a person who moves in with a married sibling is protected under the auspices of that marriage (though somewhat dependent on the sibling) and is not automatically subordinate as with aristocracy/religious orders/parents. I’m interested in the sibling relationship as a kind of lifeline or shield against the buffets of social expectation specially in a world where there is some kind of censure against unmarriage and in which marriage is seen as the final step in growing up. Siblings are the playmates of childhood, they are biological family, to remain part of s biological family unit is acceptable, to remain unmarried is not, the sibling is the last line of defense against a spouse without submitting to hierarchy and/or could be read as the last line of defense against growing up.
This isn’t coherent. I like the idea of two siblings choosing to remain close into adulthood not because they necessarily like each other that much, but because they understand the consequences of abandoning someone to social forces. Siblings as a kind of delayed maturation, a sign that something is wrong, a failed evolution, a vestigial relationship, you’re supposed to be close growing up and then split into different clans, but they have failed to do so and have closed the loop to return to childhood.
#kelsey rambles#have to pull out an example so that I don’t sound insane#nightray sibs—they operate as a unit becuase gil is aware of Vince’s dependence and that very closeness leads gil to hate him#the Alice siblings—Alice becomes alyss’ defense against Jack. the ‘marriage’ option and the sibling are in direct conflict#fma03 vs fmab. the ‘healthy’ ‘good’ ending is where edward goes off and starts a family with winry#the fucked ending is where edward and alphonse want to reunite after their journey and do not want to split up.#minamoto family. the nuclear family unit collapses and Teru and kou band together in a pseudounit threatened by kou’s dalliance with Mitsuba#kageyama brothers. mob relies on ritsu as his bestie/emotional support rather than integrating into the real world. depending on ritsu#is a way to avoid growing up. etc.#basically: sibling relationship as an ‘improper’ perpetuation of childhood in conflict with romance as a ‘proper’ way of growing up#specifically where there are no options except the sibling/romance binary
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Jonelias thought of the day is that Elias must come across as so stuffy and boring to those at the Institute - which, you know, very much helps hide his true nature - but as an avatar of the Eye and a man determined to avoid the End, Elias is someone whose entire being revolves around the interplay of knowledge and experiences. He's compelled to Know it all and his efforts to avoid death invite him to Experience it all too, a fascinating combination of passive observer and, by virtue of being a 200+ year-old in search of true immortality, an active participant too. This is a man whose longevity and thirst for knowledge invites an obsession with life that contradicts the 'Sits in his office doing nothing but spreadsheets all day' image he's learned to cultivate. (Though, to be clear, he does love the spreadsheets.) And I don't just mean "obsession with life" in the sense of him avoiding the finality of death, but actually loving the act of being alive.
I think a lot of what the fandom (rightly) jokes about in regards to his characterization is a reflection of that obsession. Elias has a relationship with Peter Lukas that goes far beyond the cold practicality of an alliance, hinting at a romance (if you steer towards a LonelyEyes reading), or just Elias' desire to still be able to place bets with someone while he's trying to end the world. Similarly, his powers ensure that he's never truly alone - if he dies, he takes the rest of the Archive with him - forever supplying him with a warped companionship that doesn't threaten him like he perceives he was threatened as Jonah Magnus, with his acquaintances working to complete their own rituals. In true Beholding style, he's got the heart of a fucked-up scientist who's endlessly curious about the world around him: 'Oooh what happens if I let my friend waste away in the Lonely?' He shows up at Jon's birthday party not just to secretly gloat and keep an eye on things (ha), but because he legitimately wants cake. Who wouldn't want cake? What's the point of living forever if you can't have cake?? Well, for an avatar the exquisite sweetness of fear is just as good, but my point stands. Beyond his fear of death, that enjoyment is at the heart of Elias' goal, with Jon describing his experience as the Pupil as a kind of agonized bliss and Elias confirming this by saying he was having the most wonderful dream. Morality aside, he likes interacting with the horror of the Entities, something we saw all the way back during the "[PLEASURED EXHALATION]" scene. Learning new things feels good. Experiencing news things is enjoyable. Learning and experiencing Bad Things is especially nice given his patron. Consistently, Elias' setbacks are met with interest, or a mild annoyance that then eventually settles into satisfaction because they are also new experiences for him and the Eye: going to jail, getting to psychologically torture Martin, having his own secrets exposed. There's a lot throughout the series to imply that Elias enjoys watching Jon become the Key, not just because it means he's succeeding in his goals, but because there's genuine interest and pride in seeing him "grow" by Elias' standards. The repetition of "our world," "our patron," etc. implies a connection; the intention to experience this new world with another, to enjoy it rather than simply exist in it for the mere sake of existence. Elias is a man whose entire essence boils down to, "I NEED TO KNOW ALL THE THINGS, EXPERIENCE EVERYTHING, AND LIVE FOREVER WHILE ACHIEVING THAT, TO UNDERSTAND IT ALL SO I CAN CONTROL IT ALL AND HAVE A DAMN GOOD TIME IN THE PROCESS, EVEN WHILE I SUCCUMB TO THE PRIMAL FEAR THAT DRIVES ME I WILL PARADOXICALLY EMBRACE IT, AND YEAH THAT'S LARGELY BECAUSE I SERVE THE LITERAL GOD OF JUDGY SURVEILLANCE BUT ALSO THAT'S JUST ME."
So anyway, I keep thinking about how this characterization could intersect with S1-2 Jon: prickly, awkward, semi-isolated, desperate to be recognized by someone whose authority he believes in. AKA the boss who, at an unprecedented young age, rose to the top of the Institute they both work at, perceived by those around him as far less interesting than he actually is. Parallels, anyone? Imagine Jon getting to really talk to Elias, realizing how much he has to offer after 200 years of life (though of course he doesn't know that), and just constantly being blindsided by not just the knowledge, but the enthusiasm for everything he's learned and been through - the good and the horrifyingly awful that, despite himself, Jon is equally drawn to. Elias recognizes every quote Jon drops into a conversation and has another witty line to pair it with. He doesn't just indulge his nerdy rambles, but participates in them. He's refined in all the ways that Jon expects - books, opera, music, etc. - and also casually drops in references to acid trips and fucking orgies. Imagine an early series Jon who forms a strong bond with Elias outside of the web (ha x2) he's been weaving, becoming dependent on his friendship and just a little bit completely in love. Elias is inherently fascinating, but he's also just Some Guy, and the combination of that is just perfect for a necrotic Archivist who simultaneously wants to be guided by his 'betters' and prove that he's an equal. Why Elias would be interested in turn barely needs stating: Jon is literally Elias' everything, in a horrifyingly tragic and like, Gothic Romance sense? What would that kind of relationship have changed? It would have likely made Elias' job even easier, but what about Jon?
...I'm not saying that Jon's drive to protect humanity would have been warped into something tragically dangerous if he'd first come to see his intelligent, complex, shockingly kind (from his nonexistent self-esteem POV), secretly-an-eldritch-monster boss as the epitome of humanity... but I'm also not saying it couldn't have!
#TMA#The Magnus Archives#Jonelias#this is so rambly I'm sorry#I'm just having a lot of feelings about these two#Jon deserves a corruption arc that he's convinced himself is a hero's journey#as a treat#also I keep thinking about Elias' refusal to define a human#and the Witcher line about Regis - a vampire - being the best of humanity#can a monster be human?#sure why not#especially when so many humans are already monstrous#I just want Jon to rule under a horrifically misguided idea of which humans are worth protecting#his wonderful desire to protect molded into not just the key that will end the world#but the thing that perpetuates its torment#as! a! treat!
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Do you like to listen to music while reading? If yes, can you recommend some of your fav songs?
oh i wish i could but unfortunately music while reading is literally THE worst possible thing for me, truly...as it is i can barely read on public transport (or even outdoors sometimes) because there's just way too much going on for me to concentrate and i am in perpetual awe of people who can. anyone who does though please feel free to share your faves for anon!!
#sometimes i can read for a bit on my balcony bc its relatively uneventful but not always#i suffer from perpetual Oh Shiny! Syndrome if you put me outside i WILL forget what i'm reading bc a dozen other things will have caught my#attention. even on the train and if the journey is long i will bring a book but hardly ever open it bc the window and the big beautiful#world is right there. enrapturing me.#honestly i cant even eat snacks while i read bc hearing myself chew is also too much and sometimes even tea is distracting Alas!#ask#anonymous
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listening to the first ever haikyuu opening with tears in my eyes do not perceive me
#I CANNOT BELIEVE THE JOURNEY I WENT THROUGH#THESE ARE MY CHILDREN#I can't finish the last season lmfao I refuse#I need them to be perpetually existing and playing volleyball somewhere#this opening legit just made me cry like am I okay#(the answer is no)#v rambles
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How does one convince an Olm that it’s okay to come out and see the light?
Introduction to the Olm: The Mysterious Cave Dweller The Olm, also known as the “human fish,” is an enigmatic amphibian that resides in the dark, underwater caves of the Dinaric Alps in Europe. With its pale, almost translucent skin and ability to thrive in complete darkness, the Olm is a fascinating creature of the deep. Its eyes are underdeveloped, a testament to its life in perpetual…
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#" is an enigmatic amphibian that resides in the dark#a testament to its life in perpetual darkness. But what if we could persuade this elusive creature to venture out and experience the light?#allowing the Olm time to adjust. Pay close attention to its behavior; if the Olm shows signs of stress or discomfort#almost translucent skin and ability to thrive in complete darkness#also known as the "human fish#and a gentle approach#and water features that mimic its natural habitat. Enrichment items that encourage exploration#but with patience#conservation organizations#encourage it to explore areas with slightly higher light levels. Create a gradient of light intensity in its habitat#even in the most extreme conditions. By embracing the challenge and celebrating each small success#gradually moving the food closer to the light. Over time#How does one convince an Olm that it’s okay to come out and see the light? Introduction to the Olm: The Mysterious Cave Dweller The Olm#it can still adapt to new conditions with the right approach. This lesson can be applied to other species and conservation efforts#it is possible. This journey is a testament to the resilience and adaptability of life#it may be necessary to adjust your approach. This could involve slowing down the rate of light increase#loss of appetite#low-light environment that it can retreat to whenever it feels the need. This ensures that the Olm does not feel trapped or stressed by the#maintain a stable#making it unnecessary to evolve beyond its current form. The lack of predators and constant conditions of the caves have made it an expert i#making sudden exposure potentially uncomfortable or even harmful. To convince an Olm to see the light#ongoing support and care are essential. Maintain a balanced environment that offers both light and darkness#or erratic behavior#providing additional hiding places#Rocks#such as exposure to light#such as increased hiding#such as tunnels and hiding spots#the Olm is a fascinating creature of the deep. Its eyes are underdeveloped#the Olm may begin to spend more time in the light
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Feeling real salty.
one episode in season 6A: Chris wants more independence, and Eddie learns to deal with that.
second half of season 6B: um. Eddie is lonely, actually, so we're gonna have him date! (we're gonna handle it in a kinda rushed and joking manner though). he's gonna call a random woman no one remembers, but trust us this hardware store woman is a sign of magic or something, and Eddie is definitely moving forward in life.
season 7: just kidding, the relationship with Hardware Store Lady was literally pointless and went nowhere. instead Eddie is actually, for 5 years running, still stuck on his dead wife because that's still definitely relevant and interesting, right? right??????? and Eddie will have zero growth this season because........................ we're setting stuff up for season 8!
#911 negativity#9-1-1#Eddie Diaz#his character has so much potential#and yet this show more often than not wastes it#Eddie has plenty of issues that have been#around since season 2 that the show has#idk ignored? or not cared to delve into#and/or just not cared to allow Eddie move forward from#it's bullshit that the writers somehow feel stuck#like 'oh no we killed off Shannon so what do#we do with Eddie now?'#plenty! like how Eddie still feels like a failure of a dad#now compounded because of the dumbass Kim fiasco#how about working on that seasons long issue?#or what about Helena and Eddie's clear mommy issues#or how about letting Eddie figure out who he is#because he's been so focused on being Chris's dad#he never had the time to figure it out#even before season 7 it's been clear Eddie has had identity issues#or we can work on Eddie building his friendship with Tommy#or we can finally work on Eddie's queer journey#or we can work on Eddie's kinda messed up ideas about romantic relationships#and so much more!#Eddie is so much more than just some guy#perpetually pining after a dead woman and relationship#he keeps romanticizing in his head#I've been seeing other people commiserating about this on my dash#I'm tired of this show fumbling Eddie so often#he has such rich potential
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Ahhhh the Astrid brainrot is real
#girl get out of there#yes youre hot but don't perpetuate the cycle of abuse#where's her healing journey#I want her to get a hobby /pos#I want her to be . somewhat. okay#Girl. you are so compelling#astrid beck
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kinda curious why anyone cares what the general audience thinks about stranger things lol... if storytellers or artists of any kind always abided by what the GA likes or doesn't like, what they'd be able to understand and not understand, and so on and so forth, then we'd have no meaningful stories about anyone that isn't non-disabled and cishet at all. because that's the thing: they don't want to see us or our lives or our experiences. we're not allowed to have complicated, true-to-life stories. we're not allowed to be shown experimenting and being wrong and being human like everyone else is. we can exist in the background, taking up no more than a second of screentime, and be a lifeless caricature—that's totally fine. but to be part of the story? to be equal to other characters that they accept as being "normal" and "allowed"? to be shown as a human being that's just like them and not the faceless Other they believe anyone different than them to be? that's too much. it's uncomfortable for them, an inconceivable extension of their empathy, and much too "political." so, like. just Why would you give a single shit what a collective like that thinks about stories that represent a community they're not a part of? why would you want to give them any more power than they already have? if a show is in a position to do whatever they want, GA be damned, then why would you want them to kneel to them anyway? it just doesn't make sense to me lol. do you want real stories or not?
#also getting really tired of reading the insane stuff that people have to say about gay people that didn't immediately accept it and#only ever pursue people of the same sex etc etc. like. what the hell?#not people perpetuating the gold star rhetoric and demonizing anyone that didn't have what they'd consider an acceptable journey...#ugh.
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"Journey" | Perpetual Testing | Portal 2 Community Maps & Mods
By HankyMueller
The never ending quest for science isn’t about the destination! It’s all about the Journey! The companions we meet along the way, and getting those points of data to make a beautiful line. At least so they say. Personally, I’m after that 60 bucks.
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#ngeruma#portal 2#portal#portal 2 community maps#portal 2 community test chambers#the cake is a lie#thinking with portals#portal mods#portal 2 mods#steam workshop#map requests#glados#wheatley#chell#cave johnson#companion cube#destination#journey#hanky mueller#it's not about the destination#it's about the journey#aperture#aperture science#perpetual testing#youtube gaming#youtube videos#puzzle games#logic puzzles#problem solving#valve games
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years of reclusion? as a recluse myself i am interested in knowing more about your experience. also. how to find the strenght to go back into the world..
thanks in advance for taking the time to answer, i love your blog!!
hi darling! it wasn't that much of a choice, i guess. i didn't follow the usual path of finishing high school and going to university right away because i wanted to rest. i had friends back in middle/high school but they all started adult life, so we naturally distanced ourselves. one year turned into two and so on, then the pandemic came, so there it was five years, wow! it's not as easy as it seems, even though i'm having lots of good interactions, i couldn't help but think that i already don't fit in with most people (i'd say the motif of not belonging is like my main thing). and how to find the strenght to go back into the world? hmm, i don't know, it happens eventually. that's why i mentioned those years weren't that bad because i realized lots of aspects that are necessary to me, and that i can't lose, no matter how much i want to connect with people.
#i'm also just figuring it out things#it has been barely a week since i'm in this journey!#and it has been nerve wrecking like i might cry tonight fkgkmgf#but it's all good. no feeling is perpetual and every day is a new day#replies
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i am filled with so much love. i love you friends. i love u strangers. i love u cas, my cat who meowed for an hour straight prior to feeding time. i love u basket of clean laundry not yet put away. i love u windowsill that i finally finished sanding and fixing only for the stain color to come out gray instead of white. i love u i love u i love u
#being alive <3333333333#ohh my god#everything is in a state of perpetual motion!!!!#we are all and everything is /going/#i am so glad we get to be apart of this journey together#post actually inspired by mutuals on the dash#everyone just. loving each other. seeing content and thinking of another#ohhhhhh my godddddddd#<333333333333333#personal#.txt#maria is literally just rambling. hi#<3
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you know… seeing all these trans headcanons going around has really got me wanting to talk about my ideas for transfem Aki
#‘my’ as if a character interpretation/hc can belong to me lmao#frankly I’ve been scared to talk about it on social media given… the state of things (things being both social media and the csm fandom)#but I have a feeling it won’t be a big deal on tumblr#Aki is simultaneously a cis dude a trans dude and a trans girl in my mind. guy’s got range.#trans Aki#csm#csm thoughts#my csm thoughts#meposting#my thoughts#csm headcanons#csm aki#transfem Aki#I just think that growing up perpetually sacrificing your life/self for your goals and work doesn’t leave a lot of time to reflect#hustle culture poster child over here#but making meaningful connections and finding a family gives Aki more time to consider (her)self#I like gradual change. not one big moment but lots of little ones. keep it slow and comfortable.#power knows/cares nothing about gender roles so she gifts Aki cheap earrings bc Aki has pierced ears#I personally feel Angel is more aware of his own gender identity/the constructs of gender already. he’s very whimsical about it tho lmao#but being around him nudges Aki along on the gender journey you know?#also Aki and Kobeni would be mad sweet as friends/resource to learn more about femininity#mini-makeovers and shit? love thinking about it#allowing yourself to be comfortable/try new ‘abnormal’ things gender-wise after a lifetime of baseline discomfort is so freeing.#I have thoughts#chainsaw man#Aki means a lot to me. as a fellow 19 year old adult-kid repressed stick-in-the-mud learning to make friends/have fun/love and be loved
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All the bad stuff that happens during a lifetime...the fears we have, the bad memories that haunt us...the #dread.
#dreading the dread but also it seems to be a perpetual part of life#good and bad#light and dark#yes and no#hot and cold#we must face the dread to receive the blessing i'm beginning to understand#journey of a soul#soul journey#faith journey#faith without works is dead#faith working#light working#lightworkers#lightworker#faithworker#faithworkers
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i was never a huge one direction fan and i definitely never paid any attention to him outside of that but the news of liam payne's death has actually shaken me
#maybe something about being aware of his entire journey to fame all the way from xfactor#like i paid 0 attention to him and i was never even a huge one direcction fan to start with. but like i knew who he was#and he was in one direction. one direction. of course i was perpetually aware of him#maybe its more the way it has been reported/announced is what has actually shaken me but still
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